Here is a common scenario that plays out in homes everywhere – maybe even in your home!
It’s the end of the day and your child is happily playing with her toys on the floor of the family room. You are exhausted and ready to move through all the things that need to happen to get her in bed – bathtime, finding the right pajamas that are already in the laundry, brushing teeth, reading books, going to bed.
You tell her it is time to clean up her toys so she can start getting ready for bed but you are ignored. Nothing happens except more playing.
You tell her again, this time a little frustrated. Playing continues.
This is not going well. You begin picking up her toys. She gets upset and starts to cry. You also feel like crying at this point, want to wave the white flag, and just crawl in bed yourself.
Could there be a better way to do this?
Yes! There is a better way!
Enter the magic of music.
Songs and Singing Can Help Children Learn
Using songs and singing to help with challenging transitions is a proven way to help toddlers and preschoolers move from one activity to another and to anticipate change.
One study showed that music and singing was successful in cueing desired behaviors during transitions in three early childhood classrooms (Register & Humpal, 2007).
Another study looked at the role of music and singing in toddler day care classrooms. Children were found to have more positive emotions, increased social adaptation, and increased social involvement with adults in environments that featured music and singing (Ruokonen et al., 2021).
What type of songs are you talking about?
When we talk about using songs and singing, you don’t need fancy equipment or even find recorded songs to use.
You just need to sing.
And you don’t even need to be great at singing!
Just open your mouth and sing!
Some of the best songs to help with transitions are songs you just make up.
You just need to connect a song to a specific transition and use it every time to move through that transition.
Here are four steps to transforming your child’s most difficult transitions with songs.
- Identify specific challenging transitions
- Choose your songs
- Create transition rituals
- Be flexible and have fun
STEP 1: Identify specific challenging transitions
Review your daily routines.
Think through all the daily routines you have with your child. What stands out as particularly difficult?
Is it transitioning from playing to cleaning up as mentioned earlier? Or transitioning from being in the house to getting in the car? Or from wearing pajamas to wearing clothes for the day?
Write them down.
Write down the two or three most difficult transition points.
For each one write down the activity before the transition, what happens in the transition, and what happens after the transition.
STEP 2: Choose Your Songs
Select familiar tunes.
Choose songs that your toddler already knows and enjoys or simple tunes that you already know.
Don’t worry if it has words that don’t match the situation.
Choose a different tune for each of the situations to identified previously.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
- Old MacDonald had a Farm
- Hickory Dickory Dock
You may think of other tunes that are familiar to you that your parents sang to you when you were a child or other tunes that are tied to your religion or your specific culture.
The key is that it is a tune that is simple and that you already know.
Make up simple lyrics.
This is the fun part! Make up simple words to the song that match the needs of the challenging transition.
When you do this, use lots of repetition – meaning repeat the same line over and over again in your song.
When the lyrics are simple and repetitive, they will be easier for you to remember and more engaging for your child.
Here’s an example.
If the challenging transition is going from the house to the car in the morning, you could use the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and sing these words (while holding your child’s hand and marching with your feet):
Marching, marching to the car.
We are marching to the car.
Down the sidewalk to the car.
Down the sidewalk to the car.
Marching, marching to the car.
We are marching to the car.
Will this song win any awards? NOPE!
But the act of marching while singing will magically transform that once challenging transition into a fun and engaging game.
It also changes this daily routine into a powerful opportunity for learning.
Just by singing and marching.
STEP 3: Create Transition Rituals
Consistency is key.
Now that you have connected a song with fun, new words to a specific transition, use that song with that transition every time it occurs in your daily routines.
This consistency will help your child connect what is happening now with what is happening next.
The ability to know what is happening next is the heart of predictability. And this predictability can also have language learning benefits.
Researchers found that toddlers were better able to learn words from predictable events than from unpredictable events (Benitez & Saffran, 2018).
So, consistency can help support your child in transitions AND help support her ability to learn language. That’s a pretty good return on your investment of minimal time and energy!
Give some prep time.
Begin singing the transition song a minute or so before the actual transition begins.
This gives your child time to mentally prepare.
Giving some prep time can help reduce resistance to change and make the transition smoother.
Make it interactive.
Encourage your child to participate by singing along, clapping, or doing simple movements that accompany the song.
If there is an element that your child can do along with the song, transitions can be more enjoyable and engaging.
In the example of transitioning to the car used earlier, marching your feet was the interactive element. If you march, your child might imitate you and march as well.
If the challenging transition is cleaning up toys, you might make up a clean up song. The interactive element in that situation would be the action of putting loose toys into their bins and containers.
Use visual cues.
Some transition songs will pair well with visual cues, like hand gestures or pictures, to reinforce the transition.
For example, you could hold up a toothbrush while singing a toothbrushing song to signal it’s time to brush teeth.
STEP 4: Be Flexible and Have Fun
Adjust as needed.
Once you get the hang of making up super simple songs to match the situation you are in, you might find that you use this strategy all the time.
Because you can make up simple lyrics to familiar songs, you can change them as needed.
Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach based on your child’s responses and needs. If a particular song or ritual isn’t working, try something new until you find what resonates with your child.
Have fun!
The best part of this is singing with your child is fun!
It doesn’t matter at all if you are great or awful at singing. Singing little songs that are part of your daily routines is one way to have fun with your child.
Get Ready for a New Outlook on Transitions
Transformed transitions with your child are just a song away!
Now, instead of a frustrating routine trying to get your child to clean up toys to get ready to take a bath, you both can enjoy the experience and your child can learn along the way.
Follow the steps outlined in this actionable guide and you will be well on your way to more enjoyable transitions for you and your child.
Resources and References
Benitez, V. L. & Saffran, J. R. (2018). Predictable events enhance word learning in toddlers. Current Biology, 28(17), 2787-2793. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2018.06.017
Register, D. & Humpal, M. (2007). Using musical transitions in early childhood classrooms: Three case examples. Music Therapy Perspectives, 25(1), 25-31. https://doi.org/10.1093/mtp/25.1.25
Ruokonen, I., Tervaniemi, M. & Reunamo, J. (2021). The significance of music in early childhood education and care of toddlers in Finland: An extensive observational study. Music Education Research, 23(5), 634-646. https://doi.org/10.1080/14613808.2021.1965564
